अद्वेष्टा सर्वभूतानां मैत्रः करुण एव च।निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी॥
adveṣṭā sarva-bhūtānāṃ maitraḥ karuṇa eva canirmamo nirahankāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣamī
Word by word
The verse says
Hating no living being, friendly and kind, free of mine and free of I, the same in pain and in pleasure, patient…
In plain words
The list of what a devotee is like begins here and runs for seven verses.
It reads like a list of virtues, which makes it easy to skim. It is not a list of separate items.
They all follow from one thing, sitting in the middle of the line: nirmama, nirahaṅkāra - free of mine, free of I.
Where you've felt this · in family life
Your father's sister is the one everybody in the family rings. That includes the two cousins who have not spoken since the house was sold. She is not the cleverest of them and she is rarely the loudest. What you notice is that she has no side in anything. There is nothing to win by talking to her, and people end up telling her things they have told nobody.
Going deeper
Kindness is being described here as what is left over rather than as an effort anybody is making.
The two words at the centre are the ones to hold. Nirmama is without-mine; nirahaṅkāra is without the I-maker. Take those away and the rest of the list stops being a set of achievements. You do not have to work at not hating people when there is no position left to defend, and patience is not a strain when there is nothing being taken from you.
That is why the items are not in any order and nothing is marked as harder than anything else.
For a reader it changes what to aim at. Trying to become friendly and patient directly is working on the symptoms. The verse points at one thing underneath them, and it is not a quality at all - it is the absence of something most people spend their lives defending.