अहङ्कारं बलं दर्पं कामं क्रोधं परिग्रहम्।विमुच्य निर्ममः शान्तो ब्रह्मभूयाय कल्पते॥
ahankāraṃ balaṃ darpaṃ kāmaṃ krodhaṃ parigrahamvimucya nirmamaḥ śānto brahma-bhūyāya kalpate
Word by word
The verse says
Freed from self-importance, force, swagger, wanting, anger and holding on to things, without any sense of mine, at peace: such a person is ready to become the absolute.
In plain words
The third verse of the approach. Six things let go, and then two words.
Nirmama - without mine. Śānta - at peace.
And the order is not decoration. The six go first, the sense of mine goes, and peace is what is left rather than what was pursued.
Where you've felt this · in family life
Your father and his brother spent four months arguing about a strip of land behind the family house. When it was finally settled your father said the strangest part was how little he cared about the land once the arguing stopped. What he had wanted was never the ground. It was not to be the one who got passed over.
Going deeper
Peace arriving as a result rather than as a goal is the structure of this verse and it is easy to read past.
Six items are released first: self-importance, force, swagger, wanting, anger, grasping. Then the sense of mine goes, which is the common root of all six. Only then does the word for peace appear.
This is the reverse of how peace is usually pursued. The common approach treats it as a state to be entered directly, through technique or setting or effort. Here it is what shows up in the space the six used to occupy, which means it cannot be added to a life that is still running them.
The diagnostic is the word mine. Most of what disturbs an ordinary week is attached to it: my turn, my share, my name on it, my version of what happened. Watch what happens to a quarrel when that word drops out of it, and you will see what the verse is claiming.