अहिंसा सत्यमक्रोधस्त्यागः शान्तिरपैशुनम्।दया भूतेष्वलोलुप्त्वं मार्दवं ह्रीरचापलम्॥
ahinsā satyam akrodhas tyāgaḥ śāntir apaiśunamdayā bhūteṣv aloluptvaṃ mārdavaṃ hrīr acāpalam
Word by word
The verse says
Not harming. Truth. No anger. Letting go. Peace. Not running people down. Kindness to every living thing. No grabbing. Gentleness, modesty, and no restlessness.
In plain words
The list goes on, and sitting in the middle of it is an odd one.
Apaiśuna - not running people down. Not saying the thing about someone who is not in the room.
It sits between peace and kindness, which is exactly where it belongs. Almost everyone could manage not to hit anybody. Far fewer could manage a week of not saying the small damaging thing.
Where you've felt this · in friendship
Four of you are having tea and the fifth has not arrived. Somebody starts on why he is always late and what that says about him. It is funny, the others join in, and nothing anyone says is untrue. Then he walks in and everybody is warm to him. The conversation cost nothing and nobody will think about it again. Nothing was said to his face and nothing will be. But he is a little smaller in four people's minds than he was ten minutes ago, and he never got to answer.
Going deeper
Of all the qualities on this list, refusing to run people down is the one most of us fail quietly and often.
Apaiśuna means refusing to carry a report. Not slander, which is lying. This covers the true thing said behind a back, and that is why it is harder. Lying about someone feels like something. Accurate unkindness feels like conversation.
And look at what surrounds it: peace on one side, kindness to living things on the other. The habit is being filed with the harms, not with the manners.
The test is simple and most people fail it the first few times. Would the sentence survive the person walking in? If not, you already know what kind of sentence it was.